compw00ter — Roster & Lore (Foundations)
Date: 2026-06-20 Status: Living document — roster entered in the builder; some details flagged for confirmation.
This captures the LAN-party cast and the mechanics their lore implies. The heroes
themselves live in the database (built via scripts/seed_roster.php, editable in
the Hero Builder). This doc records the connective tissue the data model does
not yet express, so the game engine can be designed against it.
Roster (12)
| Hero | Superpower(s) | Game-ruining trait(s) | Trigger |
|---|---|---|---|
| Eradicus | Fix The Internet (Tech); Detect Drugged Lusers; The LART (frying-pan blow that clears malware) | Perfectionist Meltdown / Ham Overload* | event |
| b0n1 | Quick Patch (Tech); Script Kiddie (Chaos) | Truth Flood: illicit pen-test floods the LAN with bad packets — games suffer until cleared (Eradicus's LART is the natural counter) | Unusualness high |
| Zazbob | Smoke Break Veto; Ribena Rush | Cider Rage; New-Dad Narcolepsy | Angry / Sleepy |
| Sarah (everyone knows it's Jim) | Alleviate Boredom; Universal Wonder (astronomy); Stargazer’s Calm | Game-Destroying Nap (Sleep low); Rectum Roulette (Booze high) | Sleep low / Booze high |
| Mr Bond | Hype Man; Rally the Squad (Social) | Loose Grip on Reality (needs reassurance) | Tripping |
| Proto7ype (was Taz) | Inspiring Trainer (cleanse); Clutch Play (fight: Chaos) | Smoke ’Em… (Booze high); They Don’t Make ’Em… (event) | Booze high / event |
| Rowr (was Tim) | Feed Everyone (provide: Food); Comfort Cooking (cleanse) | Beef Wellington (Sleep low); Tipsy Spillage (Booze high) | Sleep low / Booze high |
| Franzlicious | Social Motivator; Talk Them Down (cleanse — cures Unusualness / talks the too-high down) | Fag Break Magnet; Too-Interesting Tangent; Martin Amplifier | Booze high / event |
| j1mb0 | Creates Hilarity; Dispense Edibles (provide: Unusualness) | Edible Avalanche; Overstimulates b0n1; Calls in Franz (too-high crisis) | Unusualness high / event |
| Pebblefeline (the cat) | Clear Drugged Users (cleanse); Making Pizza (provide: Food) | Sugar Crash (too many Percy Pigs) | Food high |
| The Butcher | Hurty Mouse (buffs teammates' gaming perf — flavour TBD); Exceptionally Strong Beer (provide: Booze) | Embafflement (everyone nearby stops & thinks) | Booze low |
| Jack | Interesting New Guy (cleanse — rally + clear effects); Wildcard (re-rolls a random teammate's ability each use) | New Guy Nerves (too sober to vibe) | Unusualness low |
* Eradicus’s second ability was added by the user via the live builder. Sarah is the display name (everyone knows it's Jim). Franzlicious absorbed The Doctor — he's the social-spark reassuring mental-health medic (cures Unusualness / talks the too-high down). Pebblefeline (the cat) is a Food provider + cleanse, and gives the Food meter its stakes.
The counter-web (not yet in the schema)
The schema currently models ability counters incident type. The lore needs richer, hero-to-hero relationships. To capture for the engine:
- Jim’s Universal Wonder draws players to the cosmos, which counters The Martin (boss) and counters j1mb0’s Edible Avalanche draws.
- j1mb0 → b0n1: “Overstimulates b0n1” triggers b0n1’s security incident, which Eradicus must spot (Detect Drugged Lusers).
- j1mb0 → Franzlicious: “Edible Avalanche” leaves teammates too high; Franz's Talk Them Down cleanses them (the old Medical/Doctor role, now mental-health).
- Franzlicious + The Martin: Franz amplifies The Martin’s power — keep them apart.
- Mr Bond on mushrooms needs a social hero (Bond/Taz/Franz/Sarah/j1mb0) to spend an action reassuring him, or he spirals.
- b0n1's Truth Flood (Unusualness high) sets up an illicit pen-test and floods the LAN with badly-configured packets — everyone must see the truth. Eradicus's The LART (Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool — a frying pan to the head) is its natural counter, under the normal soft-counter rule (others can chip in; Eradicus is just efficient).
Implication: the engine model should let an incident carry tags (e.g. martin,
security, edible-draw, medical) and let abilities/traits reference those tags or
specific heroes — not just the broad type. A future schema iteration may add an
incident_tags table and an ability/trait counters_tag / targets_hero field.
New vocabulary added
- Incident types: + Smoke Break, Food, Medical (now: Tech, Social, Supply, Chaos, Smoke Break, Food, Medical).
- Vice states: + Angry, Tripping, Sleepy (now: Drunk, High, Wired, Tilted, Angry, Tripping, Sleepy).
- Vices → states: + Cider→Angry, Mushrooms→Tripping, Ribena→Wired.
Trigger-model gap
The vice/state engine assumed every trait fires on a vice state. The lore shows
traits that are random (Tim’s meal-deal vanish, Jim wandering off) or
event/boss-driven (Franz’s Martin Amplifier). The builder now allows a blank
trigger to mean “random / event-driven, not vice-linked.” The engine’s trait
system should therefore support trigger kinds: vice-state | random | boss-active | hero-event.
Bosses & NPCs
- The Wife — removes one player until rescued.
- The Martin — pulls several players out; +morale, −beer. Amplified by Franzlicious; countered by Sarah's astronomy (Universal Wonder).
Resolved (was: open questions)
- Sarah & Jim are one hero — display name Sarah (everyone knows it's Jim); astronomy folded in. ✓
- The Doctor — was made playable, then merged into Franzlicious (the reassuring mental-health medic); the Medical type was reframed as too-high crises (cleansed). ✓
- Sarah's traits — Game-Destroying Nap (Sleep/low) + Rectum Roulette (Booze/high). ✓
- Tim's Beef-Wellington — trigger is Sleep/low. ✓
Current balance items (from the hero pass)
- Trim the Booze/high glut (still the most crowded meter).
- Optionally restore a Booze/low trait (lost when The Doctor merged away).
- Settle b0n1's trait name (Malware Drop vs Truth Flood).
- Thin Franzlicious's two Booze/high traits.